A Broken and Contrite Heart
"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." Psalm 51:17, NIV
What an interesting week this last week has been. All sorts of weird things happening to my Christian sisters it seems. One was very ill (she suffers from a rare disease sort of a like an environmental disease ) another hurt her knee running, another's husband had TWO serious heart attacks on Friday and it was also discovered he has diabetes, and another told me doctors have found maybe breast cancer in both breasts plus her ongoing problem with her stomach. Oh boy, makes Home sound so nice! I wondered though, why so much of this has not only been happening but why the Lord has put them all in my path. I wondered why he has given me such a burden for healing in others and that includes their pets....
I also wondered why it was these desires God has laid on my heart: for healing and health naturally rather than traditionally. Then today as I was praying with one of these Christian sisters for her health, and IMing back and forth with her, it hit me: I too have suffered from illness all my life until more recently. I too have been hurt in my spirit and soul just like these women. I too have been broken like them. Now I know that part of God's plan for all of this was so I could be used of Him to minister to others when they go through these sorts of sufferings in empathy and love. He also has taught me that He has given us healing in the nature He created.
I kept telling this sister that it wasn't until I quit striving on my own power and let go out of sheer tiredness and brokenness, just a weak, broken person, that God's power and strength was abundantly evident in His perfect, holy awesomeness and then healing came!
The spiritual attacks have come at me from all directions this week and yet every single time I wanted to react in my flesh or struggle and fight back, the Holy Spirit reminded me that I don't have to anymore (never did) because God will handle it; He's in control.
Now brokenness might sound like something only a weakling would want and you'd be right in a way. It's in our total weakness that God's perfect strength is magnified and glorified! Sounds so contrary to worldly thinking and of course again that's correct. It IS contrary to the world's thinking but then God has called us to a renewed mind and to put off the old man. I always thought I was doing that but I wasn't as my walk in the Lord has been slow. Not a fast-paced BAM conversion. Just a slow steady walk.
The brokenness hasn't happened just once and then I was okay either. The brokenness has come hard and heavy in past times and sometimes just in consistent, persistent trials and testings. Not great big ones, just ones that aggravate you until you "give in".
This past week was one of those persistent consistents, lol. My dog Shadrach and I run at a local park early every morning. We've not had much trouble either other than Shadrach getting "macho" with other dogs. He's a Neo Mastiff so I've been working with him on his ingrained stubbornness and his machisimo. Believe me, I know why God sent him to me as a gift too! Shadrach was a rescued abused, neglected, starved puppy. He's taught me a lot and that was God's plan I'm sure! He's also changed the direction of my whole life. Again God's plan. It's been hard and a struggle but in hindsight, awesome! Anyway I digress as usual.
There were two teen boys hiding up in a tree at 5:45 AM at the park. It is a great big pine tree. What they were doing up there at that time of the morning is beyond me but they were in dark clothing so they were hard to see and not in their "right minds" I can assure you. They only hassled the women at the park. They were polite to the men. They kept howling and barking (LOL) at me and my dog, making all sorts of animal sounds. Very strange. I told them to knock it off in my usual gentle way (laugh out loud really loud!).
This went on for several laps every time I neared them. Finally some other women asked me what was going on, and I said there were monkeys in a tree bugging me. The boys got scared I guess because the women mentioned calling the police. I was on the non-track side of the park opposite them on an all grass side so Shadrach can run with me better. The boys crossed over and hid by an arroyo so as I passed they started haggling me again. I told them uh, to come down from up where they were and tell my dog that up close and personal and I'd let him answer them. Silly me! I was getting stressed and upset rather than the intended "aaaahhh" from running let me tell you! I did pray though that the Lord would handle this and help me and help me to cool my jets right then too because I was steaming by then.
Here's the interesting part, right about this time a nice looking couple crossed the bridge and sat by the tennis courts on the side of the park we were running on. Well, they sat down on the benches in front of the tennis courts and as Shadrach and I neared them, the man said, "I'd love a doggy hug from your dog" LOL. That went straight to my heart, always does. Shadrach was calm and walked right up to the man and "hugged" him in his doggie way with slime and all! He tried to "hug" the lady too but he is rather slimy with his slobber hound self! They told me to have a nice run and I complained a bit about the boys but these people were so calm and nice I relaxed almost instantly.
As I neared where the boys had been I realized they'd gone. Whew! Then as I neared the couple again I noticed they'd walked onto the bridge and were facing east. Our mountains are east and I asked them, "Are you waiting on the sunrise?" -ours are so magnificent with the Sandia Mountain background. As I asked I noticed their "Purpose Driven Life" books in their arms. I found out that the man grew up here but she was from GA where they live. They were doing the study from the book and I realized, praying. They had been praying and just resting in God's glorious creation while I was running. As Shadrach and I finished our last lap, I looked back at them and they were staring at me. I got this feeling of immense love. I got a rather emotional feeling that the boys had been like demons tormenting me and that these two people were like angels sent to soothe. I actually began to wonder if I hadn't entertained angels and I'm still not quite sure.
The cool thing is, that when I gave up and released it all to the Lord, He sent me relief. I did pray for the boys too. They're lost and probably don't know it which is sad, but hey I got saved so there is hope for everyone! While this may not all be about a contrite heart it is about trusting God for every single thing, every breath, every moment of our lives and obeying Him fully. It is about us being broken unto Him. It is about how when we are broken fully, He is our All. That's when we can begin to reach out to others and really be effective tools for Him. When God allows us to break, and we surrender, He makes us so much better than we could ever be doing it all on our own!! Contrary to the world, when we break God doesn't throw us away, He makes us better than ever before! Being broken is a good thing when it's in the Lord!
About the Author:
Kim Bloomer is a natural pet care educator helping pet owners learn to care for their pets through natural, holistic means.Disease prevention is her goal to help pet owners lower their pet care costs and extend the lives of their pets. Visit her website Aspenbloom Pet Care and her dog's blogs barkin' about natural pet care from a canine perspective at Bark 'N' Blog and Pawsitively Natural Pet Products
Look for Kim's dog Shadrach's new line of beautiful, hand-tooled leather gear and journals for the Big Dog coming in August. Our joint venture partner for this is Dee Kreidel of Faith Minders
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