Oh, God. What Do I Do Now?
Uh, oh. I'm in trouble now. I found God. Now what do I do with Him?
It's not like I can just ask Him to go sit in a corner while I go on about my life. He's kind of hard to ignore. And while he seems kindly enough, and a whole lot more patient than I am when bumping up against the obstacles in my life, just knowing He's there makes me squirm.
Once I thought it would be cool to know Him. You know, like hanging out together. Maybe even throwing down a couple of cold ones while we shot the bull. In some regards, I think it can still be like that. But He's like, so, well, unusual that people are starting to look at me like I'm weird.
Did you ever walk into a room and know all eyes were watching your every move? Now imagine it was because you came in with someone who looked so good that you felt like an ugly duckling by comparison. And you knew they just wondered, "Why in the world is he/she hanging out with that geek?"
That's sort of how I feel now. He glows in the dark. That light is SOOOO bright it's blinding. At least, it sure seems to have that impact on everyone else I meet. They act like they don't see me at all any more. Or if they do, they treat me like I'm a leper. I can almost hear the whispers behind the stares. "There's the guy that goes with God. Oooh, yuck. Get away from him." Not God, but me.
Sometimes I get the feeling they're jealous, and that if I would just disappear, they'd all be circling Him and wanting an autograph, or some other piece of Him they could take home and put up on the wall. But since He's with me, they try to pretend they're not looking at either of us.
Funny, they didn't act that way before I found Him. I had a lot of friends, and thought people liked me. I guess, at least as much as you like your local pit bull. But now that I'm hanging out with Him, it's like I've got coodies or something.
Don't think I'm imagining things. I've heard what they're saying. That I'm blaspheming by making God one of the guys. That I should have left him up in His ivory tower instead of dragging him down here in the dirt with me. Or that I can't know Him because I don't hang out in the same places as they go on Saturday or Sunday to try to find Him. Or eat the right foods or mumble the right prayers.
Maybe they're right, and I'm the crazy one. Perhaps it's all in my head, and I'm talking to some giant, invisible rabbit. All I know is they sure seem uncomfortable. And that rubs off on me.
I don't want to make Him feel unwanted. Heck, I worked hard to find Him. Besides, He's been a good friend, always there when I needed Him, and quick to dry my tears when things weren't going so good. In fact, only recently I've started noticing the many gifts he's casually dropped into my life, even when I was so stuck up I thought I was doing it all by myself. And not once did He ever ask me for anything in return.
At least, that's what I thought. But the more I got to know Him, the more I realized there was something He wanted. Something I'd been afraid to do for the longest time. One day as we were talking over a cup of coffee, he finally blurted it out.
"If you love Me, then love yourself," He said in that soft whisper He uses in those moments of our greatest connection. "You are everything I wanted you to be when I sent you here." I just looked at Him as He continued. "There is nothing more I ask of you."
I tried to defend myself. "But what about all those things I have to do? I thought you wanted me to love others!"
"If you truly love yourself, you won't have to try. It will happen naturally," was His reply. "You've been parading me around town, thinking that somehow showed you're now a better person, secretly hoping others would think more of you. Life's not about how they see you, but how you see yourself.
"Don't hold Me up as something to show off to your friends. Just let me stoke the fire of love that already smolders inside you. When it's fanned to a flame, they'll naturally come closer to warm themselves. And in so doing, it will strike a spark that will spread 'round the world."
He reached over, and with his index finger touched my heart. "This is where I am, and will be. Find yourself, and there you will find Me." And with that, He smiled, and faded into my memory.
So, maybe all those other people were right. I am different, and my flame isn't bright enough yet for them to see. But it will be.
In the meantime, I know where to find Him. In me, where He's been all along.
Copyright 2004 by John Dennison. John is a voice for those who do not hear or know they have an inner voice. Author of Whispers in the Silence: Living by the Light of Your Soul, he can be reached at john@WhisperZone.org or visit him at WhisperZone.org, home for those who know their own way.
Advertising by textad.biz
Go Ahead, click an ad, you know you want to.
Preparing For Enlightenment
Enlightenment can come in an instant or it may take many life cycles.The shortest distance between two points is in a straight line and so the fastest way to achieve enlightenment is to know that you are already enlightened.
Let Go and Let God
As a child growing up, whenever I was worried about something, my mother use to always say, "Girl, don't worry about it. Just let go and let God.
Time for Healing
We have to go through some unfortunate experiences sometimes in our life. When you speak with other people you will always find out how easy your experience is in comparison to what they have suffered.
Did you ever get a feeling or gain notion of a specific situation without any logical explanation? Well, that is your intuition. When you least expect it intuition reaches out and hits you with information that you have no idea were it came from.
For I, the Lord, Heal You!
With those words recorded in Exodus 15:26, God proclaims to man the source of all healing..
Praying in Secret
"But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly." --Matthew 6:6There was a time when I thought I could not turn to God.
Understanding the Gospel of Matthew and Why it Matters - Part 9
Matthew 3:4-6 John Baptizes the People4 Now John wore a garment of camel's hair and a leather belt around his waist, and his food was locusts and wild honey.5 Then Jerusalem and all Judea and all the region about the Jordan were going out to him,6 And they were baptized by him in the river Jordan, confessing their sins.
Spirituality: Blues for Buddha
Being critical of Buddhism isn't easy.Buddhism is the most likable of the major religions, and Buddhists are the perennial good guys of modern spirituality.
Americans Need a Savior Not Another Guru
Mrs. Dixon the famous prognosticator and psychic to the stars talked for several hours as my friend sat in the audience and took notes.
What Exactly is Grace?
This question, "what is grace" plagued me more into knowing the answer and being sure beyond a shadow of a doubt.In the beginning of time, It was God's intention to be in fellowship with His people.
Life as a Human/Medium/Psychic Being
We often forget that we are human beings first, and that there is nothing wrong about our making mistakes or having troubles in life - it is all a part of our growth. We have to allow ourselves to be in situations that can bring us in different direction in our lives.
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses. --HEBREWS 4:15He was the kind of fellow you'd invite to watch the Rams-Giants game at your house.
Standing in the Gap
I'm weary of saying No to my children. Not just the everyday No's.
The Gnostics and Essenes
THE GNOSTICS, ESSENES AND THE 'OCCULT':Throughout this book I have made reference to esoteric groups or knowledge. I have done a book called The Occult: Uses and Abuses which has twice as many words as this; but I hope this one covers enough of the issues related to the abuse of spiritual knowledge by the elites.
People May Let You Down
Is your hope in God? Or, is it in people?I will tell you this, people will let you down. Only God is infallible.
Jesus Birthday: Sacred Children Series - 2 of 3
I had visions of my daughter for about five years before she finally showed up. She turned out exactly like the little girl in my dreams who had haunted me all that time.
A Bellyful of Mindfulness
Taco Bell, the Mexican fast-food franchise, has a new ad campaign focusing on the slogan, "Get full." The commercials show people ecstatically announcing that they are full--thanks, of course, to the huge value meals now available at Taco Bell.
GOD Loves Us All
God, what a wonderful spirit. He, is our ever present savior and helper in times of need.
Footprints and Monuments - Slow Down
Every month I usually sit down and write an article around the topics of leadership, teamwork, vision, or self-improvement. However, this month I am only passing on something that came across my desk a few days ago.
Be Filled With The Spirit!
Be filled with the Spirit.? always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
|home | site map|